isolation is one of the chief complaints of new mothers. it's like growing into clipped wings. life is much bigger and much smaller when you are seeing it with a 15 pound brand new life-form struggling to speak with two new teeth in your arms. the spot between your shoulder blades develops a real deep ache.
i have a cavity. again. i really should have been denied teeth.
for almost a year now i have been a financial vacuum sucking thousands of dollars away from every single person i love. it's lucky i was raised to believe that money isn't that important if you have good relationships. and i am successful by me and my parents standards because i do have good relationships with almost everyone i've met.
because i am still too sick to work i have been trying to stay on top of housework and be as pleasant a roommate/sister/daughter/mother as i can. this is how i intend to earn my keep. i've always loved and nurtured my lazy streak and my love of a life of leisure because i have also maintained financial independence and what i thought was a solid work ethic. i'm sure i'm not the hardest worker but i am reliable and happy and usually funny too.
however...
housework is a full-time job if you look at it. there's no room for my life of leisure. because work doesn't stay at work if you've made home your work. and the isolation....
it's not that i'm lonely or bored. i'm great company and most of the time so is Max and we get lots of visitors. isolate means to set apart. i have felt set apart almost my whole life. i guess it is to be a theme.
i feel shitty whining when there's such a fierce storm outside. but my mom's garden is full of weeds and i know it's my fault.
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